My Teachers in the School of Life

My Teachers in the School of Life  

In 2007, I entered the formation process to become a Sister For Christian Community. We call our formation process the “becoming process” and one of the first things they tell us is that we never quit becoming. It is a life-long process. And during my twenty years in senior adult ministry I am deeply grateful to the individuals who have played a significant role in my own becoming process. These human beings have taught me lessons that could never be learned from a book. And for this reason, I call them my teachers in the school of life. 

Back around the year 2000, I served as chaplain and community outreach coordinator at Christus Regis/St. Elizabeth Centers, a retirement home in Waco. How well I recall one of our residents, Mrs. Stone, a quintessential Southern belle, who had moved to Texas from the deep South. She was in her early nineties and was always perfectly groomed and made up and wearing beautiful clothes. And she had a Southern charm that drew people to her. She also played the piano like a professional and she shared her musical talents with us every Sunday at our interdenominational service, something which brought great joy to her family members. She lived in our independent living section and seemed to get along well. Our retirement home was located downtown next to a city park. One evening she left the building to go for a walk. She walked across the city park and found herself at the Hilton Hotel with no idea how to get back home. The Hilton staff decided she must be a resident at Regis/St. Elizabeth Centers and brought her back to us. The next day she was admitted to our Memory Care unit.  

For the next two years she continued to play the piano for our services, being transported to the chapel by family members or staff. Though her memory continued to decline, her musical abilities remained strong and she could play any hymn in the hymnal with great feeling and gusto. After each service we would say to her, “Mrs. Stone, you played beautifully this morning,” to which she would respond by asking, “Did I play?” From Mrs. Stone I learned that our talents are truly gifts from God to be used as a way of bringing joy to those around us even when we do not fully understand the implications of how we are using them. The Lord understands, and that is what matters. 

Around 2009, I served as chaplain in a nursing home in Temple, Texas. Every morning I would go to the memory care unit and spend about twenty minutes playing a variety of music on the piano. I usually ended with “Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring” by J. S. Bach and would then go from table to table visiting with the residents while they ate breakfast. One morning I spoke with a lady whom we will call Jean who had recently moved from Florida to Temple to be near her family. She said, “I love the “’Three B’s’, Bach, Beethoven, and Brahms. And I especially like it when you play ‘Jesu, Joy of Man’s Desiring’. Now where are we? Are we in Florida?”  

Jean did not remember where she was, but she recognized the music. Her words are written indelibly on my mind because she taught me an important lesson. Music is a powerful way of connecting with persons suffering from Alzheimer’s disease because it touches a part of the brain that is seldom affected by Alzheimer’s.  

On Wednesday evenings I lead a Bible study for assisted living residents at Brookdale Northwest Hills as part of our outreach ministry through St. Theresa Catholic Church. Participants represent a variety of denominations including Catholic, Baptist, Methodist, Presbyterian, and Episcopalian. They also come from a variety of professions including a school principal, some teachers, and a nurse. One lady whom we will call Lydia attends almost every week with her caregiver. One evening shortly after she began attending, Lydia looked at me with an intense expression. Here are her exact words: “I don’t say this to anyone very often but you really have a calling to be a teacher.” I was touched by her words and thanked her for her affirmation. Since then I have seen her out in the hall with her caregiver at various times in between our class sessions. She recognizes me but does not remember having come to class the previous week. From Lydia I have learned to value the gift of affirmation made possible through the recognition of another person’s strengths. 

Finally, I recall a lady whom I will call Susan whom I visit regularly in a memory care unit. Susan spent many years working at the administrative level in the business world. She suffers from Alzheimer’s disease and is rarely capable of verbal expression. A short time ago I prayed one of her favorite prayers, the “Hail Mary” in her room. For the first time in weeks she looked at me and clearly spoke the words “Mother of God”. From Susan I learned that we remember that which is most important, our Lord and the Blessed Virgin Mary who brought him into this world. 

To each of my teachers in the school of life, I am eternally grateful!